You are a Liar
I am too. That’s right; we are all liars. Especially when we understand the most simple and accurate definition of a liar: “One who lies”. Liar is one of those words which can spark a deeply emotional response. Almost everyone wants to believe that they are not a liar, but are instead a completely honest person who always tells the truth. If you tell yourself that, sorry, but you are lying to yourself. And that is a bigger problem.
To really understand what a liar truly is, we have to define what lying is exactly. Defining a lie is a bit more complicated that defining a liar. Lie: “A knowingly false or inaccurate statement (written or verbal) made with the intent to deceive”. Here’s where it gets muddy for most of us; the different kinds of lies. There is a fib, a half-truth, an exaggeration, white lies, bold-face lies, fabrications and omissions, just to name a few. It is true that there are many socially acceptable reasons to lie. The one element that is essential to all lies is the knowledge of the liar that he or she is in fact not telling the truth.
Lying is essential to our own personal survival and acceptance in any society. There are many valid and noble reasons to lie. One example is self-preservation. Another is protecting the feelings or well-being of another. Although those are some pretty good reasons, they are still lies if we know our statement to be untrue. Consequently, even though our reasons may be sound, it is still a lie, and that makes us liars.
We don’t have to lie all day long in every conversation to be a liar. Studies on lying are all over the map. But most legitimate studies estimate that on average, people lie between 3 to 8 times daily. But, I think we have all known people that blow those statistics out of the water. People that seem to lie most of the time, without any discernable benefit to themselves or others, are called pathological liars. That is a psychological/mental disorder, and is a whole other can of worms that I will leave closed, for now.
See how long you can go without lying. Pay close attention to every word you say or write. Unless you stay in bed all day with all of your communications devices turned off, your doors locked and have absolutely no contact with anyone else, I think you might be surprised at the results. If you can honestly make it through a normal day in your normal life around other people without lying, not even once, you will be my new hero.
I believe if a person were to never lie under any circumstances, ever, even the acceptable lies, that person would be sad and lonely in life…not to mention discouraged and generally disliked.
I have just now decided that I no longer think of myself as a liar, because that moniker cuts so deeply. So now I see myself as: “One who occasionally practices beneficial deception in an effort to protect myself or others from experiencing the pain that the truth would certainly cause”. Sure, it’s a little wordy, but it feels a helluva lot more honorable than believing I’m a liar.
The antonym for a lie is: The truth. And, the truth hurts, or it will set you free. In my experience, it can sometimes do a little of both. Since we can’t realistically be completely honest and truthful at all times and in all situations, try to lie less often. And when you must lie, be unselfish and kind with your words and make sure you are speaking from your heart, and that your lie is based in love. Star out.Filed under: Philosophy & Psychology
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