HOW TO SPEAK MODERN SOCRATES

by obsrvantlouie on February 7th, 2014

Justin: my dear brother, I am somewhat puzzled and I require your aid in solving my quandary. Can you help?
Sam: yea, of course!
Justin: excellent! when you are tired, do you sleep more or less?
Sam: more
Justin: and when you are hungry, do you eat or more or less?
Sam: more
Justin: and when you are injured, do you exercise more or less?
Sam: less
Justin: so then, when you are tired, you do not drink more coffee, but sleep more?
Sam: sometimes I may drink more coffee but mostly I sleep more and also this is my preference.
Justin: and when you are hungry, you simply eat more but you do not take a pill to remove your hunger?
Sam: certainly
Justin: so then, when you are injured, you do not choose to exercise more but differently and perhaps less in order to recuperate the body?
Sam: agreed
Justin: then, can we agree that more and less is not always better or worse but it depends upon the topic at hand?
Sam: that sounds plausible, agreed.
Justin: do you consider yourself to consume a healthy diet?
Sam: yes
Justin: is your knowledge of 'diet & food' and it's value, as abundant as it could be?
Sam: no, but it is increasing in scope daily.
Justin: I agree. so then, you are fairly wise when it comes to 'diet & food' but you still have more to learn like most others?
Sam: yes
Justin: and myself, do you consider me generally wiser on the topic of 'diet & food' than most others?
Sam: generally, yes.
Justin: however, I still have more to learn?
Sam: I assume, yes.
Justin: you assume correctly. In your diet, you consume a large amount of protein, do you not?
Sam: yes, I do.
Justin: perhaps to much?
Sam: perhaps
Justin: does this consumption of protein have any noticeable effects on you?
Sam: not that I have identified, aside from...it is clear that my ass smells like 'Cartmans'.
Justin: and that your ass smell likes Cartmans, is this desirable?
Sam: no
Justin: is your 'Cartman ass' related to your heavy consumption of protein?
Sam: I am fairly certain it can be attributed to my consuming of whey protein, yes.
Justin: so then, are there any other effects this product 'whey protein' has upon you?
Sam: not sure, but I have noticed, I now have difficulty sometimes leaving a shit.
Justin: that sounds most unpleasant, and have you identified the root cause of this issue?
Sam: I am fairly certain it is result of the amount of protein in my diet.
Justin: do you agree that a mostly, if not completely organic diet, is best for the human condition?
Sam: yea, of course.
Justin: I agree. And in our definition of an 'organic diet', can we define this simply as an organic compound that has not been processed, broken down or had chemicals added to it?
Sam: yes, we can agree on this.
Justin: so then, we have defined to our standards an organic diet. Also, please recall we determined earlier that 'more or less' is not better or worse but instead it depends upon the topic at hand? Do you recall and still agree?
Sam: yes
Justin: excellent, and according to our definition of organic, does 'whey protein' qualify?
Sam: technically....no
Justin: what do you mean technically? does it qualify or not?
Sam: no, it does not.
Justin: why not?
Sam: because it has been processed and furthermore chemicals have been added to it.
Justin: l agree. so then, clearly 'whey protein' is not organic?
Sam: no, it is not.
Justin: and do you still agree that consumption of an organic diet is best for the human condition?
Sam: still, yes.
Justin: so then, by our account, we have determined that 'whey protein' has adverse effects in the promotion of "Cartman Ass, secondly it clogs up your bowels and thirdly it is not organic?
Sam: apparently, yea
Justin: is it possible that due to the undesirable effects of its not organic nature, 'whey protein' is likely not good for the human condition most notably yourself?
Sam: it seems possible
Justin: so, do you think it wise to perhaps avoid 'whey protein'?
Sam: ...
Justin: let us move on, earlier you will recall that we determined more or less of something is not better or worse but it is dependent upon the topic at hand?
Sam: I recall, yes.
Justin: also, do you recall and agree that we have determined the consumption of an organic diet is best for the human condition and most notably that processed foods are not in harmony with the human condition, recall and agree?
Sam: yes.
Justin: so then, your consumption of 'whey protein' would appear to be a contradiction on your part, is it not?
Sam: apparently, it is, yes.
Justin: and to add to this contradiction, with regards to protein, your choosing to consume a large amount of it, is another contradiction, is it not?
Sam: how so?
Justin: well, earlier we determined and agreed that more or less of something is not better or worse but dependent upon the topic at hand. In this case, it is widely known and accepted that an over consumption of protein and especially a high consumption of red meat and 'meat' in general makes 'leaving a shit' difficult. The contradiction is, not only do you consume a vast quantity of protein but adding to this, you choose to consume a processed protein known as 'whey'. Furthermore more, to add to this confusion, you apparently consume so much protein that you require to also consume a fiber substance in order to aid your difficulty to 'leave a shit'. Is this accurate?
Sam: it seems to be
Justin: also, the fiber you consume is not organic correct?
Sam: I'm not certain..
Justin: I think I can shine some light, there does not exist any plant or tree to my knowledge known as a 'fiber tree or fiber plant'. Knowing this, regardless of whether you are consuming fiber as a pill or as a powder...clearly, it does not qualify as an organic according to our account, agreed?
Sam: duly noted, agreed.
Justin: so then, my dear brother, it would appear you are confused in your diet and contradict your own beliefs. Further more, you contradict your own logic. Not only are you consuming products that are not organic but you are consuming more of something when clearly the case calls for the consumption of less. Do you agree?
Sam: ........

 Filed under: Philosophy & Psychology

3 Comments

bluesbaby5050: Deep Logic.....

While processing thoughts. Clearly Think, Before One Speaks. I like this very much. Thanks :)

Starperson: Socratic Method

Nice job OL. It seems like you and Sam and Justin have a good handle on conversing in the Socratic Method. Your point is well taken, informative and funny too.

I had a philosophy professor years ago that only spoke in Socratic conversation. Questions only. All semester, only questions...no statements at all! Drove me nuts. Here's an example of his "teaching" style:

Professor: Mr. Starperson, are you sleeping during my class?

Starperson: No, I am not.

Professor: Ok then, what did I just say?

Starperson: You asked me if I was sleeping during your class.

Professor: No smartass, what did I say before that?

Starperson: I'm not entirely certain, but I'm 100% sure that it was in the form of a question, Alex Trebeck.

Professor: So, do you disapprove of my teaching style?

Starperson: Yeah, kind of. Mainly the way you butcher the Socratic Method of teaching.

Professor: And how exactly do I do that young man?

Starperson: I can't really put my finger on it, but when you try to instruct by using conversational dialog...you just seem a little dickish.

Professor: I know you are, but what am I?

Starperson: See what I mean!

I got a C-, and the professor got tenure. I never took another class by this same prof. But over the next couple of years, whenever I had an hour between regular classes, I would show up at his lectures, put on my Walkman (yes, my Walkman) and sleep in those comfortable auditorium seats in the back for 50 minutes.

Back then, I was convinced that I had never learned a thing in that professor's class. But now in hindsight, I guess he did teach me to be a little bit dickish.

Tarheel: Star is an anti-systemic, renegade....

....capable of being a total societal outcast with anti-establishmentary bias.

Yes, he will fit right in with us. Oh, that's right- he already does.

Love ya, mean it, my bruthafromanuthamutha !

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