Porn and mind control
I’m just looking for feedback on if I’m normal or going insane sexually.
I’m a married white man. I have always had a high sex drive and my wife not so much. Some years ago while looking for some masturbation material I can across some porn where an extreamly hung black man was fucking a petite pale white girl. I remember that clip vividly because that’s when my addiction to interracial porn was born. Since then it’s grown to once in a while I would look at IR porn to everyday masturbating to it, sometimes several times a day. In order for me to have sex with my wife, I have to have images of white women being taken by hung black men to get an erection. It’s a catch 22 because when I fill my head with those images I cum all too fast.
Recently I found images of men in chastity cages while they watch their wives having sex with black men. It’s my new go to jerkoff material. Every time I look over at my wife I can see her sandwiched between two hung black men and enjoying herself very much while I sit there looking at the key around her neck that would unlock me.
These fantasies consume me every day. It’s all I think about. It’s destracts me at work, home and even playing golf. I need those fantasies to get an erection but it also makes me cum all too fast.
I have tried to substain from porn and masturbation. I went several weeks and I started to be haunted with created images of my wife screwing very hung black men in front of me. I even cam in my pants once without touching myself. It was in a business meeting and very embarrassing. I don’t think anyone noticed as much as I felt they did but I’m just glad I was in a dark suit that day. So I’ve returned to masturbate to those thoughts 1 to 4 times a day depending on how much time and privacy I have.
How can I return to a normal person? Any ideas? I love to have orgasms and I love masturbating but I found myself likening it more then real sex with my wife. Is this going to be a chronic condition the rest of my life?Filed under: Sexual, Interracial
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